Taming of Your Shrew

In light of the month of luv, I wanted to dedicate some time to relationships.Today, I opened my bible and found two tickets to the Taming of the Shrew by William Shakespeare.  These tickets are symbolic for two reasons: one, a rare date experience that my husband and I shared now that we have children and two, this play was extremely insightful-an unexpected revelation into relationships.Have you ever seen this play?  High level overview: Girl is not the warmest and friendliest, but man falls in love anyway.  Girl and man get married.  Girl and man butt heads.  Man uses a little reverse psychology.  Girl softens.  Couple lives happily.Yes, the woman in this story is the shrew and Shakespeare is speaking to his audience about wifely obedience, but I am broadening this scope here for a moment.

So what is a shrew?  A shrew is a mammal that looks somewhat like a long nosed mouse.  They are known to be fiercely territorial creatures that drive off rivals, only coming together with other shrews to mate.  So in quick, they are not social butterflies nor cuddly creatures.

Ever feel that you are living with a shrew?  Think you may be one?

Well, unlike these mammals, we are made for intimacy with a heavenly father and with each other.  We may each desire different levels of interaction at different times, but we are not made to be territorial with our emotions or our space.

Is this how you interact with those in which you have a relationship?  Do you bite the hand that reaches out to you?  Do you react to a bite with another bite?

First know that you cannot tame your partner and I don’t recommend reverse psychology as a rule, but you can work on yourself which will in turn impact your relationship and open new doors for your partner to enter.

If you want to give your partner a real gift every Valentine’s Day, assess where you are in relation to a shrew.  Begin to recognize the number of times you turn toward your partner in appreciation versus frustration.  Make an effort to ensure that the percentage of times you speak to your partner in love and affection far exceed that in which you lash out.  And, for everyone’s sake, no biting!

~Author: Stacy Farris, MS, LPCA, NCC for Miller Counseling Services, PC