Is Seeking a Soul-mate Helpful or Harmful?

A soul-mate can be defined as a romantic partner able to connect and identify with your authentic self. Some people believe that the soul has three parts: the mind, will and emotions. This would mean that a soul-mate is able to connect with your deepest thoughts, share similar dreams/goals/desires and accept your feel about all matters of life. My adult daughter believes there is a difference between having a relationship with a romantic soul-mate and making a connection based on physical sexual energy. She also believes that experiencing the closeness of a kindred-spirit in friendship can be rewarding.

To answered the question, “Is searching for a soul-mate helping or harming?” consider the following:

  1. Only God has perfect love and is intrinsically good. Soul-mates can love us but we need wisdom in searching for a constant companion due to the fallacy of humankind.
  2. We meet soul-mates when we are on our soul-path. Ask yourself if this is the right time for you to search for a soul-mate or to enjoy spending time with same-sex companions and group dating?
  3. Wedding2Consider waiting for someone who accepts you as you are yet inspires you to grow into your authentic self?
  4. A soul-mate is respectful and provides space for you to lay down your preferences without fear of being consumed or controlled. There is mutual influence, empathy and joy in a relationship with a soul-mate.
  5. A soul-mate is contented to spend time with you and is not watching for someone better.
  6. A soul-mate would not pressure or manipulate you to drink alcohol, have sex, abandon core values or insist that you withdraw from your family and friends.
  7. When the winds of pressure and the waves of change threaten to sink your ship, a sole-mate is able to strap him/herself to the mast of the ship and ride out the storm without accusations or threats.

Whether you are a teenager, a single parent or widower, take time heal from past romantic relationships and be aware of personal preferences before seeing a soul-mate. The media gives confusing messages about what it means to have a soul-mate. Look within your community for couples who model honest, loving relationships. Focus on their positive characteristics as they solve problems and face a life that is often unpredictable, unfair and unkind.  There are plenty of people who qualify as a “good catch”. The challenge is to know your sustainable values, take calculated risks and trust for the right timing.


Author: Beth Holloway, MA, LPC for Miller Counseling Services, PC

Beth Holloway, MA, LPCA

Beth Holloway, MA, LPC is a Licensed Professional Counselor and has more than 12 years’ experience in the mental health field. She has recently joined the Miller Counseling Services team and specializes in counseling individuals and couples who have experienced all types of losses including abuse, domestic strife, and trauma. She enjoys leading group therapy classes in the areas of Divorce Recovery, Spiritual Enrichment, Couples and Parent/Child Relationships, Grief Processing and Depression Recovery. Beth has had the privilege of traveling all over the United States and to more than 10 foreign countries and has been enriched by learning about people from diverse cultures and ethnic groups.

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