What was it Like in the Old Days?
When my Mother got married in the 1930s, she was given a little humorous book, called How to Get Your Man and Hold Him by a friend. Reading this jewel of a book prompted me in thinking about “what women want” now in 2014 regarding marriage. Being single for a woman in the 30’s was not a respected option and certainly brought on a lot of fear as the clock ticked into her twenties.
Here is a funny quote from the book with quite revealing undertones that speak of similarities of our present times.
Chapter I: Basic Rules for Finding a Party of the Second Part
No nice girl admits it out loud, but it is nevertheless true that there comes a time in every girl’s life when she is seized with an urge to get married.
This urge may be strictly of biological nature brought on by exposure to an overdose of moonlight, Rudy Vallee music, or a love scene in a Clark Gable picture. Or it may be the result of any one of the following causes:
- The sudden realization that spinsterhood is just around the corner.
- The struggle to make both ends meet on one under-nourished pay envelope.
- Being fed up with the monotonous business of punching a time clock and writing letters for Mr. Ginsburg.
Whatever the cause, the problem is: What to do about it.
The first step, obviously, is to find a party of the second part who is palpitating with a similar urge. And in these uncertain days when so many men are insulated against matrimony, this may take on the aspects of a major accomplishment. Marrying men are almost as extinct as buffalo, and as hard to find as a true blond in a beauty chorus. Consequently, in conducting your matrimonial quest it will be necessary to use your wits.(author unknown)
Women have come a long way in 80 years. Options for living life with another person have changed, but the urge to be connected in a long term relationship (marriage) has not disappeared. Being a woman, having counseled and coached women of all ages for over thirty years, I see the same desire for having a mate play into our life visioning process. It is a big part of our human nature to be drawn toward being closely connected to another human being.
Finding Life Vision Helps to Live an Abundant Life
So as a single woman, what do you do about that desire, and still live your life in abundance, joy and peace? And for the married woman who realizes that marriage is not the only answer to deep stirrings in her soul to live a life of purpose, what to do now?
The answer is complex but doable and it is the same answer that all women, whatever marital status, have to answer to live the life we desire. It involves knowing ourselves: body, mind and spirit, and knowing our life vision. Being a fulfilled woman means living our lives with mission and purpose, no matter what stage of life we find ourselves.
What is Life Visioning?
Life Visioning is a tool that is extremely helpful in navigating your way through the different stages of life. By understanding the unique and important impact your life has in this world, you will feel more connected to the abundance of this given time, married or unmarried. Looking to the future with a big vision, then bringing action steps into the present to make that vision a real aspect of your life will give you more peace and joy. Bringing your life vision into the present will allow for you to experience less of that uncomfortable feeling of waiting for the future to bring fulfillment. Instead you will experience purposeful living now.
I have a gift for you today. All you have to do is download this playsheet about life visioning and you can begin to focus more on your present journey of life in a joy-filled way. The playsheet includes a guided imagery, a creative art exercise, and journaling experience of making a Life Vision board. I have included some coaching questions that will help you make the most of this experience by developing intentions for your life.
I encourage you to have fun with making a Life Vision board and seeing where it will take you!
No more waiting…it is all within you now…your desires, your dreams and your intentions for your life. All you have to do is bring them forth and realize that you are enough right now in this moment and time to live the fulfilled life you desire.
If you are interested in more life coaching or counseling after playing with your Life Vision Board, as a Certified Creativity Coach I am ready to assist you on this journey. Call today to find out more about my coaching or counseling packages, online or in person!
Susan Miller, PhD, LPCS, NCC is a Psychotherapist, Certified Creativity Coach, Certified Kaizen-Muse™ Creativity Coach, Entrepreneur & Life Coach offers counseling, coaching & creativity workshops that light the path of your life journey through Lighted Path® Coaching and Miller Counseling Services, PC. Along with having 30+ years of counseling, coaching, and group facilitation experience, Susan is a life-time trained artist with a special interest in painting, mixed media and fabric art.